31 January

My brother is trying to be converted.

He is a Christian, Anglican.

An old lady comes to my house and asks for him and gives him these magazines about God every 2 weeks or so. She's Catholic.

For the second time this week Mormon's came to our house and asked for my brother.

Everyone wants him! He should start his own religion and convert others... he would make a killing. Because that's what it's about right? Making money? Isn't that right Roman Catholic Church? Richest organisation in the world?!

30 January

The other day a group of my friends (all males at this point of the night) were walking in the lovely city of Hobart, from one club to another, at around midnight.

We passed a group of three girls, and one of them shouted at us, asking if we had a lighter. For the sake of this story, we will call her... BoganSlutFace.

Okay, so BoganSlutFace asks for a lighter. We say we don't smoke, and continue to walk. And that is the truth, none of us actually had a lighter.

End of story? Noooooo, because BoganSlutFace wanted a lighter. And she's grown up getting what she wants, and if she doesn't get it she shouts at her parents and cries like a little fucking two year old, and BoganSlutFace had not grown up inside.

She shouted at us again, wanting a lighter. Someone in our group shouted back that we don't have one (!!!) and that was enough for her, she was after us, her right hand in a fist.

We laughed.

She pushed John.

We laughed again.

She punched John really hard in the face.

We stopped laughing.

Who did she think she was? She didn't have the right to punch one of us in the face! But she did it anyway, because she was a girl, and she knew that we wouldn't push or punch her back. If it was guys verses guys (well, I would have ran off, I don't fight) but it would have been 6 verses 3, in our favour obviously.

So the only thing we could do is to continue to walk down the road, away from this crazy BoganSlutFace.

BUT she followed. Shouting at us, wondering if we "wanted a go".

She went on and on saying she did some sort of martial art when she was younger, which could have been a bit scary if she could actually move faster than a quick walk.

I just stayed out of reach, and she scuttled after me but never touched me.

Dos wasn't so fast. BAM, she punched him in the face too.

John tried to be funny. He danced off, singing (very out of tune), "Ohhh, I'm a bogan slut that likes pensis' in my bum". He then fell over and hurt himself. Was quite funny in retrospect.

Okay so let's look at where we are at the moment. A group of 6 guys are being pushed around by this one girl. Wow.

BoganSlutFace's two friends, Sheep1 and Sheep2 join BoganSlutFace in pushing and punching us.

That's it, we RUN off. Yes, run. They have followed us for about 200 metres, and it could have got a lot worse if we stayed for tea and biscuits.

The rest of the night was okay, but the moral here is always carry a lighter on you, because if you come across BoganSlutFace, Sheep1 and Sheep2 and you don't have one, you could get more than a punch in the face.

Amen.

29 January

I think we should start talking, reading, writing and communicating faster. Our brain will have to process stuff faster too, to catch up, and we would do everything so much quicker, and hopefully better.

I'm writing a parody of a parody. Has it done before? Probably of course! But it will still be fun.

I want to get on a bus with only one person on there and sit next to them, see what they say. It would be so awkward, although I would just act natural and normal. The other person would probably move. Would they move if I was really attractive?! Probably not.

People are silly.

28 January

Magazines are overrated.

There will probably be more online magazines, like actual emagazines, or web pages devoted to it. They aren't like books, it's just some interesting articles and some pretty pictures, not really worth paying for.

YET PEOPLE DO.

Why? You only read it once or twice and then it just sits there.

***

Who was the first person who made carrot cake? Were they drunk or something?! Since when do we have vegetables in cake?

Get rid of it. Overrated.

27 January

Some people say they don't care what other people think about them, but we all care, to an extent. It's stupid to say you don't care.

Otherwise you wouldn't wait in lines, you would push to the front.

You wouldn't be polite.

You wouldn't wear clothes, even though you don't feel like it.

You wouldn't pay money for stuff, you would just take it....

The list goes on.

Of COURSE you care what other people think about you, stop lying.

26 January

Found a new show, Psych. Good stuff. I don't usually watch cop shows, but that along with Lie To Me and the Mentalist are really good.

Dollhouse has ended. They had enough for at least 5 seasons, but they got shut down after two. Pity.

Can't wait till South Park starts up again.

Can't wait to shit shows which no one watches stop getting made.

Can't wait to write my own TV show and people like it. There will be boobs and everything in it.

25 January

There was a bee on the bus the other day. There were only two windows on the bus, so it just kept on flying around and around looking for a way out. Every single person on the bus had their eyes on the bee most of the time, as they didn't want it to come near them. Quite funny. Obviously no one got up and actually did anything, like "shooing" it towards a window. Everyone expected someone else to do something.

What a lovely world we live in.

I have to write more stuff down. I don't know how much stuff which has come into my head, then i've lost it because of my memory. I don't have a bad memory, I just think of so much stuff and I can't keep it all in my small (yet attractive) brain.

Okay, if you and I swapped brains, people would still treat you as you, and me as me, all based on our looks. Everyone is so superficial, it's the way we work. Which I suppose is good in a way, in terms of breeding good looking people. Usually attractive people have children with other attractive people. If we based it purely on the persons brain, we would probably have smarter people in the world (smart people would breed with smart people, less smart with less smart).

Interesting...

24 January

Daggering. What is it? From Urbandictionary:

'Some call it “dry sex” on the dance floor of a dance or party, but daggering is where a man and woman are dancing in a sexually provocative manner, which usually includes them simulating various sexual positions, and often times, rough sex, to the beat of whatever music is playing at the time.'

It's pretty crazy and can 'break your dick' and really hurt the girl. Youtube it.

Is it the future of dance? I hope not. We would have to stop playing such shit music in clubs before we can even begin to bring it in!

Talking of dancing, I was in a club the other night, dancing with a group of mates. Three of us. And I turned around halfway through a certain song, and for about 5 seconds I was dancing behind a girl, facing her back. I don't like to dance like that, it's silly, and the main point is, I WASN'T dancing with her. I was turning around.

ANYWAY, a girl in the group of the girl I was dancing near came over to me, put her hands on my shoulder, and pushed me so I turned around. What a fuckingcuntstupidbitchslut. It's a busy club love, people are going to dance near each other, geeeez, grow up!

(I hope she is unable to have babies...)

23 January

A guy asked me if I had any money for a bus fare. I asked him where he was going, he said Glenorchy. I fumbled around with my wallet, got out a dollar, gave it to him. He then wanted more. Jeeeeeez. I gave him 50 cents more and he said "cheers" as he was walking off.

Now. My problem with this is that he hasn't planned his savings very well. He hasn't managed his cash. He hasn't rationed his pennies. He hasn't - ... you get the picture.

He had brand name clothes on, and a tattoo. As well as a hat, and he was holding a phone. He has had money in the past, obviously, so why doesn't he have any now? He probably gave it all to charity... hmm...

Be careful not to give too much money to charity, because you will end up like the scummy bogan I met today, and be begging for cash to get on a bus.

Moral? Charity is overrated.

People I like: Midnight Beast. VERY funny.

22 January

Richard Whitehurst is an artist. A weird artist. A while ago he had a thing called a THE PUNCH-YOU-IN-THE-FACE TUNNEL where he was sitting at the end of a tunnel in a room, and if you came through the tunnel into the room... he would, yes, punch you in the face.

Now, he has a rape tunnel. You can guess what happens there. This is a bit of an article describing this lovely invention:

"The artist plans to place himself in a room, the only entrance or exit being a 22 ft long plywood tunnel constructed by Whitehurst himself. Then he says that for the duration of the gallery’s opening (from 7:00 p.m. to midnight) he will rape anyone who travels through the tunnel into that room."

This is what it looks like:



I wouldn't go in there. And I don't know if it's actually rape, because the person would choose to go in there, knowing that they will be raped.

A very interesting thing, but debatable if it is art...

21 January

Went on a date today. Well, the girl I went on it with has a boyfriend, but I called it a date anyway. Why not. It makes mum happy when I tell her. I need to go on one date a week or she hits me with her fist :(

Not really, I'm just joking... she uses a rolling pin, not her fist.

We were in a bar, next to the way to the toilets. We kept on talking loudly when people walked past to impress them.

The best one I came up with to say to the girl next to me, "So, I heard you're getting a new personality soon..." I think the old man walking past was impressed.

Just as impressed as I was with the film I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell. Funny stuff. poster:

20 Jaunary

Is Viagra a good thing? Survival of the fittest? The facts are that 9% of people have a chronic condition when it comes to getting, and maintaining an erection. These are older men, and men with health conditions.

Isn’t it good to get the bad health conditions out of the gene pool of the world? And older men surely have had their chance to pass on their genes.

I understand fully and support it when it comes to just sex, but when it aids production of babies, it becomes a worry.

***

What annoys me is people who actually think Tasmania could host the Olympics. No way, not a chance, forget it. Stop making videos and wasting time and money over it.

19 January

I was working with a very expensive microphone today. Probably a thousand dollars worth of mic. I needed to drink water to make my throat feel better, and as I picked up the glass of water, I felt the urge to pour it on the mic. The mic would be ruined and unusable, which was my reason behind wanting to pour the water on it.

I didn’t pour the water on it, and I think that is the difference between people. There are two groups of people. One group that would THINK to pour the water on the mic, and not, and the group to think to pour the water on the mic... and actually pour the water on the mic.

Take this a step further. Sometimes I get the feeling I want to punch someone. I don’t. The other group do punch the person.

Some people (not me, that I can recall) get the feeling they want to kill people. Most people who get this feeling don’t kill people. The other group do.

I suppose the moral of this is that there are two groups of people. Those that follow through on their NEGATIVE actions, and those that don’t. But that’s not entirely true, is it. Because some people think they have positive thoughts and actions, where most people would view those actions as negative. With me?

Most things in this world aren’t just black and white. There is lot’s of gray in there.

The world would be a much better place if people followed through on their positive thoughts. But then again, a someone might think that killing a killer might be a positive thing... rid the world of a killer. But then, you are a killer... and the “don’t fight fire with fire” quote comes in handy.

Soooo I don’t really know my overall point here, except that everything is opinion. Everyone has different truths, and it’s hard to stop people doing what they believe is the truth. You just gotta do what you think is the truth, and hope no one fucks it up.

18 January

I needed some chocolate before. Had a craving. The shops were too far away and I’m lazy, BUT there was a machine in which you put money into and you receive food or drinks. I would use this, as I was, well, as I said, lazy.

I wanted a bar of plain chocolate. I looked, there were two rows of plain chocolate, one was two dollars a bar, and the one next to it had the price handwritten. One dollar. The same chocolate bar, don’t forget.

Now, I’m not a rich man. I don’t work that often, so I have to be careful of my cash. First off, I thought I would grab the dollar bar. I mean, why not, it was half price. But I paused, my dollar coin poised above the shoot. Why was it a dollar cheaper? Was there something wrong with the chocolate? Surely they couldn’t sell out of date stuff, that would be illegal. Or could they?

Then I thought, okay, let’s just assume it’s not out of date. The price was handwritten. Maybe I was supporting the small guy by buying the dollar bar. The small guy got his chocolate for cheaper than the big guy, and therefore could sell it for less. He couldn’t afford to print of a sign, but that didn’t worry me.

So I bought the cheaper chocolate. And I’m not dead yet. Bloody good purchase, if I say so myself. Bargain hunter!

17 January

When is the point where drinking often and too an extreme goes from being fun and normal, to someone telling you that you are an alcoholic.

20 years old... “I had a beer at like 10 in the morning! How cool is that!?” "Hardcore man! Wicked!"

Older.... “I had a beer at like 10 in the morn - ” “GET TO A MEETING!!!”

***

Isn't being patriotic to your country a bad thing? It means fights break out between countries. Yeah, sure, love your country. I think Australia is an amazing country, but I don't love it enough to tell some Asians or New Zealand people to piss off in they come to Australia.

We should be patriotic for the world. And if people from Mars or Venus start coming... then we tell them to piss off (unless they are hot aliens...).

16 of January

I was sitting at a computer in the hostel I’m staying at, surfing the ‘net, when 20 or so people, drinking, walk in. They all sit on couches. A bouncer (it’s a club downstairs) comes up to me and warns me that it’s a guys 21st, and his mates have put some cash together for a stripper, and that if I feel uncomfortable, for me to leave.

I told him that I would be alright, thanks.

I went back to the computer, heard a few “Who the fuck is he?!” from the crowd of horny young men behind me, but I stayed strong, I didn’t cave and leave, there was a stripper coming. I would get to see some free flesh.

A minute or two later, she arrives. I'll be honest, I was really looking forward to seeing her. But...

She was one of the dirtiest, disgusting people I have seen in my life. Biggest letdown.

I left before she took her fluffy black scarf off.

Now I’m just sitting here in my bed, feeling sorry for the birthday boy. What the fuck happened to balloons and candles?!

Film I like: Donnie Darko.

15 of January

Five guys just walked into the room I’m staying in. I’m being friendly to them so later they won’t feel inclined to steal my shit when they get drunk. I mean, I’m friendly anyway, but I need to be friendly here even more.

When someone you don’t know starts making gay jokes with you, it’s hard to know when to make gay jokes back. I say, the third joke. The first two jokes you just have to laugh. It could turn out badly if you said a gay joke back the first time. The guy COULD be like “What the fuck man!” and get all weird. The third time is good, because then you know it’s okay to say one back.

Example. In the room today, one of the five random guys said,

“Let’s save some water, three to a shower.”

He then pointed at me (he had only said ‘hi’ to me at this point) and said,

“Who do you wanna go with bro?!”.

If I said something back like, “You man, look at those muscles!”, it would be weird.

The third time that kind of thing would happen, it wouldn’t be so weird.

The second gay joke just happened. The guy asked what I was doing tonight. I said I was getting drunk. He asked if I was going to get some action. I said,

“Uh, yeah, see what happens”.

He said, “I heard there are lots of single guys out tonight.”

I’m pumped for the next one, gonna join in!

***

There was no third gay joke. Oh well. :(

People I like: Bill Burr. Stand up.

14th of January

I got handed a pamphlet in the street today. I always take them, because I’m hoping one day I will have the confidence to grab it, then rip it up into little bits then throw them into the air, while standing right next to them, staring into their eyes with meance. I haven’t done it yet. Another life goal to the list.
Anyway the pamphlet said this:

“Valtierra, a member of the “G. St.” Gang of Brole, CA, notorious for violence during the turbulent 80’s. Stabbings, shootings and murders were routine of the gang life. And then, heroin takes over. What gang life did not do – heroin did, Adducted to dope, he becomes a walking dead man. But one day, with life hanging by a thread, he encountered the life changing power of Jesus Christ.”

And then some dates and times where you can go listen to Valtierra speak. Now, besides from being badly written and not flowing at all, it is basically saying you can be a terrible human, do whatever you want, kill people, and you will go to heaven. That is assuming that because Valtierra found Jesus Christ he is going to heaven.

Why doesn’t everyone just create havoc?! Burn houses, rape each other, punch people in the street, and as long as you believe in JC by the end of it, you will be right. Not a good message in my opinion.

Websites I like: Pilkipedia.

13th January

Okay I came up with some t-shirt designs:

The classic, “Why are you staring at my tits?” for a girl could be changed to, “Why are you staring at my bits?” on a man. The man wouldn’t wear any pants of underpants obviously.

The popular “I’m with stupid” could be simply changed to “I’m stupid”. And then on the back just have a photo of a penis.

For a girl: “Even if you buy me a drink I will not sleep with you.”

For a guy: “My mum does porn.”

Okay, that’s enough of all that rubbish.

Onto the real reason we are here. Speed bumps. Useless. Get rid of them. There’s a speed limit, and most people stick to it. Speed bumps are just in the way and are annoying.

People I like: You.

12th January

I’m doing Summer School and cannot post every day, so I am posting the last few all at the same time.

I’m pretty happy that I’ve been doing this for so far, but there is a long way to go.

I was thinking before, that wouldn’t it be good to live in a point in time where it really is survival of the fittest. Because now, it’s not really. So many other factors come in, when it comes to spreading your gene. So back when we were cavemen, it came down to whoever was the strongest. Thinking about it, the state I’m in now, I wouldn’t survive. I’m quite unfit. But it would be interesting to go back to basics.

I would love to design t-shirts. Have wacky slogans on the front in big writing, get paid a mint.

People I like: Ricky Gervais. Amazing. Awesome. Very funny. My idol.

Save the wales! Or just die... whatever...

I wish I played piano instead of the cello. It's so much more versatile.

I suppose everyone plays piano though, same as guitar, and you have to be really good to stand out. If you don't want to stand out though, it's all good, right?

Someone asked Ricky Gervais what advice he gives to people that want to be famous. He said he would tell them to kill a prostitute. What he was saying makes sense. What's the point of being famous, just to be famous?

Some people are happy to be famous because of socially unacceptable things. Such as Paris Hilton.

I don't know about me. Just say I invented something awesome, would I choose to be famous (assuming I have the choice), or would I choose to just stay out of the light, and not be famous? Lot's of famous people aren't happy and can't live normal lives. I'm sure it would feel cool to be loved by so many people though. Maybe if I was famous for a while. A year or two. That would be nice.

I want to invent...

...

World Peace... awww, cute.

People I like: Stephen Lynch. Comedian. Musician.

Entry number whatever.

I don't know about horror films. I don't watch many because I don't like to be scared. Some people love it. Those people need to get out more. The problem is that most horror films have not much character development or plot, so it just comes down to scares. And yeah sure, it elicits emotion, but it's not very desirable. I think people that like being scared should do more in their lives - have more of OTHER emotions.

Happiness or something mainstream.

Avatar is amazing. See it please.

While I wear an mp3 player as I walk through the street, it gives me the permission to not stop and talk to people I don't want to, that smile and wave at me. It's kinda mean, but some people you just don't want to talk to. And by wearing earphones, it's like it's an effort to take them out, turn the music off. So I may as well just smile, wave and continue walking. That's my logic.

People I like: Josh Thomas. Comedian.

Today is the day....

I'm on a diet. Well, not really, I'm just not having second helpings every meal. I'm full, but it just tastes nice, so I eat more. I think I'm becoming obese.

Didn't get the track listing for today's radio show. The tracks came from all different folders on my PC, so I didn't know what was going on. We had to play the track on air (from a CD) then after it finished, had to say what it was. Slightly awkward, but I think we coped.

I love the name "Beck". If I get married to a girl, she will have to change her name to it. It's not very good though, because when I meet girls called Beck, I automatically think they are more attractive than they really are. Hmmm.

People I like: Derren Brown. Illusionist and mentalist.

Gah.

Been drinking.

Taxi driver tonight. Went over the bridge. He was doing 55 km/h. I asked him (of course I knew) what the speed limit on the bridge was. He told me 70. I looked again at his speedo... still 55. Hmmm!

Went to the circus today. Due to a mix up of tickets, I was sat next to two guys, HUGE, tattoo's, singlets, peeling sunburn, legs spread waaaay too wide... instead of my family. It was obvious why they were there (the girlfriends). One had a camera. Never took one photo. -sigh-.

There is a guy, and I'm sure there are many more, that have a webcam on them all day and night, and it is streamed on the internet. They would have to be interesting, otherwise, what's the point.

I go to bed, and sleep, whenever I feel tired. Really tired. I don't know if this is right, but it feels natural. So, fuck it.

Another day, another dollar.

Lyrics for a dance song I just made up:

***Don't give us any country, punk or soul. Don't give us any classical, or rock and roll. We came here for a reason, and that reason was to dance. So make everyone move, and give us fucking trance***

Pump it.

I wish there were save points in life. So if you mess up, you can just go back to a certain point. But I think people would start to realise they could do anything... and get away with it. Killed someone? BAM, back to before you killed them. Ate a whole Macdonalds store? Don't worry, you won't get fat, go back to before.

You could gauge peoples reactions to stuff. You try ask someone a question in a certain way... if it doesn't end well, go back, and ask the question in another way. Too easy. You know what's too easy? Prostitutes. Wouldn't it be better if they resisted a bit... made it more real?

"I don't feel ready yet..."
"My husband might come home soon though..."

People I like: Tim Minchin . Comedic singer.

Nearly died today. Some wanker came of the roundabout when I was on it... very close to where he came out. Slammed on the breaks, no harm done.

Told Mum... she had a go at ME for not going slow enough. Umm, what?! Tsk.

The grandfather is around. I think he's still living back in the 50's. He told me today that you only need to work out half an hour a week... and eat 2 bits of fruit a day. Later, he went 100 on the bridge. I told him it's 70 and pointed at the speedo... he nodded. He thought I was telling him the cricket score. Fantastic.

I drank some wine before. Was lovely. Proves there is a God. Later tonight, it, and my dinner will probably come out of my mouth in a torrent of yuk. It will prove there is no God.

I have a lump behind my ear. I thought it was a pimple or something... but it's been there for like a week. I hope it's not fucking ear cancer or some shit. Everything in your body is connected. So, if they need to take my ears off... my legs might stop working or something. IT COULD HAPPEN.

People I like: Patrick Watson. Singer.

The first time I heard that people get paid money to have advertising tattoo'd to their body, I thought they were idiots.

Something like this wouldn't be as bad though:



But then you get people like this:



Imagine trying to pick up in a club with some website on your forehead. Imagine going for a job with some website on your forehead. Imagine giving birth with some website on your forehead? They baby would see it, and crawl straight back where he/she came from. And yes, it IS possible, babies can do that, JGI. Happens 1 in 10 births apparently...

What really annoys me is when people up the back of the bus get their ipod and speakers out, and start playing shitty R n' B shit to the whole bus. No one wants to hear you, mate.

No one has the guts to tell him to shut it off, so it goes on for the whole journey and is annoying.

I think some of the music I listen to is pretty cool, and want people to listen to it also, so I think there should be something on all mp3 players, where you can go to a certain setting, and LIKE A RADIO, hear what other people on the bus are playing (if they want you to hear them). It would be the cheapest DJ equipment ever.

Number 4.

I just realised that I drink alcohol because I'm bored. It's always:

"Wanna do something?"
"Yeah, what?"
"Dunno."

Pause.

"Get smashed?"
"Yeah, fuck it."

And it's not like one or two standard drinks per hour, it's powering them down. Then once you are intoxicated, you are never bored. We just use drinking games as an excuse to drink litres of wine in the one sitting. I live a terrible life.

I don't smoke, but I think smokers start out because they are bored. After peer pressure obviously. Once it gets to an addiction then you are in trouble. And chewing gum? What's the point? Bad breath? Have a tic tac. I'm addicted to chewing gum... on a pack a day... doctor says I only have two weeks to live.

iTunes is overrated. As are raincoats.

Responses when a random stranger turns around and says, "Are you stalking me?"

- "Umm, no, you're not that attractive!
- "How could I? It's not even dark yet..."
- "I am... if you're into that kinda thing. Otherwise, no..."
- "Yeah I am, and I'm sick of you playing hard to get."
- "Well it is my job. Hours aren't very good, pays alright though..."

The third day.

Candles. Who needs them, really. Turn on a light, switch on a torch, get some matches or a lighter happening, but forget the candles.

"But it's romantic!" Umm, no it's not. Wax gets everywhere, on the table cloth and the food, and it flickers so much you can't even see the food properly. I am obviously assuming by "romantic" you are using candles when eating food. Another option is to use candles in a sexual way... dripping the wax on each others naked belly buttons and ankles. Yum.

Wigs for dogs. Another thing you don't need.



I mean, PLEASE. Next you will tell me we have jackets for dogs to wear... what? We already do? Jesus...

Saw Whip It today. Was quite good. I love Ellen Page. She was in it obviously, and Drew Barrymore directed. Wow. She doesn't really look that comfortable behind the camera here, but it turned out well.



Maybe she can write a film for us next! She would base it on her life obviously. Logline would go something like this... "The story of a woman with very little acting talent became famous against all the odds, getting divorced twice in the process, to win the hearts, and the millions of dollars of oblivious young female teens around the (western) world." Lovely.

Day 2.

I went to a music festival for New Years, and ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to say, I started a “woofest”. What’s a woofest, you might ask. Well, let me tell you. A band was playing and there was a quiet bit in the song. I shouted “WOOOO!” at the band, and in the next 5 seconds, I heard over 50 “WOOOO!’s” from other people in the crowd. It was woofest. And I started it. It made my year really, which is a bit sad because it was around 11pm on the last day of the year. I should have had something this year to “make my year” in around June/July. Oh well, better late than never.

What really annoys me is people that don’t use google. Or other search engine/dictionary sites. If you don’t know what something is, google it. It ruins the mood by asking what a word means. So, I’ve created a term. “IJGI” stands for I’ll Just Google It. “JGI” is Just Google It. It’s gonna catch on like “LoL”. So start using them, and start a trend, and make this world a better place. Oh, and recycle too.

Lucid dreaming. If you don’t know what it is, JGI. I’m going to try and do it. There are lots of methods, but the easiest one I have found is that as you are falling asleep, tell yourself that you are going to look at your right palm of your hand, when you have a dream tonight. Or that you are going to rub your ear. Or anything really. After telling yourself this before you go to sleep for a certain amount of nights (not sure how many yet, I’ve only been doing it for 2 nights) then you will (apparently) look at your palm when you are dreaming. This should trigger the thought, “This is just a dream” and then you are on the way to being in full control in your dreams. And once you are in full control, the possibilities are endless.

Okay, try this. Next time you are walking through a bus mall or a busy place with lots of people walking too, get out your mp3 player, and put on a song which gets you really pumped up. Something you would dance to in a club. Pump it really loud, and make eye contact with everyone that is walking in the opposite direction to you. Stride with purpose through the crowd doing this, and you will feel a lot more confident and better as a whole. Try it.

OMG first post!

Right, hello then. First entry. Kinda awkward, don’t really know what to write. I suppose I can tell you why I’m doing this. It’s a personal challenge. To write an entry a day. To get me motivated to write in other aspects of my life, such as screenwriting.

It will hopefully create discipline, and I feel like I’m actually doing something when I’m on the computer. Because I don’t do much when I’m on the computer, really. Just eat and figure out ways to start my own religion. Why I have your attention, would you pray to someone with short or long hair? Is being colour coded with your clothes an issue....? Please say it’s not, or that you are “colour blind anyway, mate” because I don’t know what colours go with what these days...

Ate some dim sims today. Love the fucking things, even though it’s basically cabbage fried in oil, and we just assume it’s healthy and won’t kill us. Maybe dim sims give us cancer. Who knows?! And don’t say “Well, they don’t give you cancer, you idiot” because you are probably unattractive and therefore have a low IQ. You don’t know what you’re talking about, okay?!

[eat more dim sims please]

Imagine a world where we didn’t NEED to eat. We just had a few pills a day, and that had all the vitamins we needed, and eating was voluntary. Food would be cheaper, because a lot less people are eating it. Or if it was advertised properly, it could be that only rich people that eat food, and therefore the food would be expensive.

The ad on TV would be some normal guy eating a pizza. Then suddenly an attractive female in a bikini and sandals jumps on him, sticks her tongue down her throat. Then writing comes up on the screen, “If you eat food attractive women in sandals will jump on your crotch” then in little writing down the bottom it would say “Sandals are optional” because lets me honest, who wears sandals these days? They are way overrated, as is the structure of blogs... As are eating bananas, slicing apples, and breathing through your nose.

Right, bye, back tomorrow.